Around the World in 14 Days

Yes, I had already fashioned a blog post to close out the end of my around the world trip, but since I have lots of time at hotels on my current work trip, I'd like to do another with a different tone. My previous one was a bit snarky, even for me. I will attempt to make this one more traditionally reflective on our actual trip.

It's almost hard to believe at this point, but our journey encountered its first stop in Tokyo. We kept commenting on how it felt like we were in familiar territory. Yes, familiar because we had been there before. We recognized streets, subway stops, knew where to find Starbucks and sandwich places when we got sick of ramen and miso. And this "familiarity" is somewhat shocking. We know virtually no Japanese. We cannot read any text. I had to use a google translate app to figure out how to do simple tasks like changing the settings on the washer/dryer in our hotel room. As I've probably said in the past, Japan is this crazy mix of western comforts combined with just absolute confusion. You cannot simulate this experience anywhere else. There is this simultaneous feeling of hopelessness and relaxation. Not being able to communicate effectively is a huge issue, but the Japanese people are some of the warmest, friendliest, and helpful people I have ever met in my life.


This is an important distinction because we were about to go to a country that would really not be any of these things. Ah, India. It has been described as a feast for all the senses. Lots of horns. Lots of interesting odors. Bright vibrant colors. Smartly dressed men and women walk in front of crumbling buildings. Our welcome was not especially warm. It seemed that everywhere we went, we were treated like morons. My parents had once told me that Indians were extremely friendly. I would be lying if I said I had the same experience.

It goes without saying that the cultural chasm between India and the United States is vast. This is why Nicole and Uma's movie proposal is such an intriguing idea. The separation of men and women in security lines, movie theaters, mall entrances, or in other aspects of life was a bit jarring to us. But that's the way it is. Maybe you have to look at India the way you look at the operations at Newark Airport. People are yelling at you and telling you conflicting instructions that make no sense. "Why?," you protest. That's just the way it is. Did you know the U.S. is one of the only countries in the world to still require the removal of shoes?  I could see visitors or non flyers getting into a line and wondering, "Why the hell am I doing this? This makes no sense." Yep. That's the feeling you get in India. When visiting our friend, Uma, her mom graciously prepared us a hearty meal of rice and curry with beets. We ate entirely with our right hand. They were aware that this is not our normal procedure and offered us spoons, but we declined. We were here to experience India, not Epcot.

Yet despite Uma's awareness of our cultural differences, we quickly became aware that there were many things that separated our cultures. On at least three different occasions (that we're aware of), people asked Uma if Nicole and I were a proper couple...as in married. The driver, people on the street, men in shops, it didn't matter. It is evidently frowned upon to be dating, much less galavanting around the world with some floozy. No wonder the hotel staff were so rude when discovering not only did we have different last names, but in some cases Nicole, a woman, had actually booked and paid for the hotel. Scandalous. That's just the way it is. Walking around Uma's neighborhood, a lady stopped to ask Uma some questions. It wasn't, "Who are your friends?, How's your movie?, What have you been up to lately?" It was immediately about my marriage status with Nicole. Uma said we were engaged (a lie, so don't get excited Mom and Dad). Then they asked when the marriage is. Soon? People in the south were more friendly, but within the confines of what they thought was appropriate. Americans might find it all a bit . . . intrusive.

Nicole and I being a bit more progressive-minded found this all a bit jarring. What does it matter if we're married or not? Why doesn't anyone date? What's the point in getting married if you barely know someone? We had lots of questions, but we were the radicals in this country. The newspapers we read were saturated with stories of rape and victim shaming. While not immune to this in the United States, it seems to be an epidemic in India. It makes me wonder if this culture of getting married quick has indirectly led to some of these problems. If it opened up a bit to encourage dating, might we see fewer sexual assaults? I would compare it to Catholic priests in the U.S. They are embroiled in decades-long sex scandals. Perhaps we should have let them date as well? More mixers with the nuns? Maybe they would have those most basic of human needs met. Who knows. Our time in India was brief, but we learned a lot in just a few short days. I think it would take a lifetime to try and make sense of it all. And that goes the other way too. Ask the man who ran up to Nicole just to stare at her.

But now we were off to nearby Sri Lanka. It was less than an hour flight from Cochin Airport; and perhaps in my mind I was expecting to find a landscape similar to the one I had just left. It was not. Cranes and skyscrapers towered over Colombo's skyline. Cars were staying in their lanes on the new highway that connects the airport with downtown Colombo. The hotel staff treated us with respect and did not act surprised when they realized Nicole had made the booking. Nobody ever really talks about going on vacation to Sri Lanka, but they certainly seemed a lot better prepared in the tourism and hospitality industry. As far as tourism goes, Nicole and I were part of the tip of the spear as far as American tourists go. British and French tourists have been coming for some time, and the industry is expected to take off judging by all the development in and around Colombo. The next day we set off for Galle, a beach area to the south of Colombo by using the second of two highways that exist in Sri Lanka. It too had all the trappings of a modern resort area.

But as we worked our way away from the coast, the landscape began to change. No more highways. Journeys that would take less than an hour and a half in the U.S. took almost five. Traffic rules became vague. Tourists became fewer. The terrain transformed into cinematic landscapes of mist-draped green mountains and high plateaus. Due to time constraints, we couldn't stay anywhere for long, so it seemed we spent most of our time eating peanut butter crackers and fruit snacks in the backseat of a small Suzuki hatchback.

It was not the most ideal way to experience a country, but luckily we were rewarded at each stop with a very memorable and unique experience, even if getting there was a bit stressful. It certainly gave us perspective on patience and what constitutes a long drive. Back in April I drove 350 miles from New Orleans to Houston without stopping and it took the same amount of time as it did to drive the 100 miles from Galle to Ella. The whole country is only about the size of South Carolina, so the prospect of an infrastructure overhaul is not unrealistic.

These changes are already taking place at a fast rate and I wonder what effects the development will have upon the culture, especially in the smaller towns. This could result in easier connections to goods and services, but perhaps not everyone is ready for that. As we've seen with the Brexit vote and the election of Trump, many people would prefer to disengage from the outside world.  I'd be curious to know what people think of the rise in tourism. It's certainly a moneymaker, but it could also lead to overdevelopment.

Sri Lanka's civil war is still fresh, having ended less than a decade ago. Even Isuru said it was unrecognizable when he returned from flight training. It's the same reaction that journalists I interviewed had when they returned to Vietnam after just a few years. And just as I observed there, Sri Lanka is quickly becoming a land of contradictions, old and new. Isuru was kind enough to pick us up from the airport in a nice Audi and deposited us at a fancy hotel with an infinity pool, but the following day we had to give way to a cow crossing the road. The country is growing very fast, but it will have some growing pains.

Enrique Iglesias performed there recently and it caused quite a stir with the president himself voicing his opinion on the "uncivilized women" who threw their bras at the stage. He further suggested the promoters should be beaten with poisonous stingray tails. It's a bit of predicament when you have a modern pop singer performing club songs in a country where people still catch fish from stilts. There are certainly two very different Sri Lankas, and it will be interesting to see how they interact over the coming decade.

When we finally arrived in Vienna, it became surreal. Where we had been enjoying a beer outside by the beach the day before, we were now huddling inside a tavern drinking dunkel and trying to stay warm. We observed efficiency we had not been used to for some time. An express train took us from the airport to the heart of the city in less than 15 minutes. We had returned to our "comfort zone" and quickly ordered meat. The bookends of our trip, one east, one west, were like our safety zones. Everything in between was very . . . well, foreign.

But as I mentioned in my previous blog post, you have to get out of your comfort zone to gain perspective. You don't reap any of the rewards of new and exciting places if you never go. Sure, there are some challenges. Can I eat this? Do you think there's tap water in that juice? Why is it green? Why does the city smell like it's on fire? But you also have the unique opportunity to be part of something that few others have enjoyed. We saw elephants in the wild, ate with our hands, slept under mosquito netting, gazed at one of the wonders of the world, and huddled next to a thousand year old buddha while it rained. It was all pretty incredible and an experience that neither of us could replicate any time soon. We may have flown around the world, but we have only just scratched its surface.

Climate Change

We got up early this morning to grab some quick breakfast and then we summoned an Über to take us to the airport. Yes, it surprised me too. I envision Über as a 30 year-old hipster in Oakland driving a Prius, but it has evidently expanded quite a bit. After about 45 minutes and a distance of over 20 miles, we arrived at the airport, where we had to pay the grand sum of a whopping $13...including tolls. Not too shabby.

On our way to the airport, we got to witness the progress on the world's largest christmas tree. It's still not quite there. It's like they went all in on the trunk and then realized they didn't have enough material to do the actual tree portion and now it just looks like an ear plug. Once at the airport, we had to go in a few different lines. There was a security line to get to the check-in counters, which was a bit confusing for folks like us. Overall though, we made it to our gate without too much difficulty.

We did some last minute shopping, or really our only shopping since we hadn't encountered many shops selling tourist chotchkes. I ended up buying a cricket jersey. Believe it or not, I have played cricket in the past -- with Sri Lankans naturally. After a delay of more than an hour, we boarded our Austrian Airlines 767 and were on our way to Vienna. I took this picture during our descent. The sun was setting and it was barely 4:00. It is after all, the shortest day of the year.

We took the train into town, which took us just 15 minutes. Then we were hit by a blast of cold air as we entered a literal winter wonderland. Air travel is a fascinating thing. One day you're looking at elephants in the jungle, and the next you're making sure you don't step in slush from the last snowfall. After checking in to our hotel near the city center, we got some dinner at a casual restaurant nearby. It seemed popular with the locals. Nicole and I had a wiener schnitzel with potatoes and beer. It was our first meat in more than a week...unless you count the ham and cheese panini served by Austrian Airlines, which Nicole described as the best meal of her life.

After dinner, we took a taxi to one of the christmas markets in the city. We went to one by the rathaus (city hall) because it was the closest. While the lights and decorations were very photogenic, it was difficult to use my fingers to take pictures. We were not equipped for temperatures below freezing. While we were "cold" in Japan, Vienna took it to a whole new level. My back was hurting from shaking. Even the locals looked cold.

This cold, wet, chilled feeling we were having is the very reason my family started going to Hawaii in the winter instead of say . . . Berlin. We skimmed the stalls. Nicole got an ornament for our collection of countries.

As much as we wanted to linger and enjoy the sites, we felt as though we were climbers on Everest who had not adequately prepared for the hostile environment. Wearing t-shirts under lightweight jackets, we were destined to become ice cubes.

We quickly shuffled out of the Christmasmarkt and into an Über that took us back to the area of our hotel, where we thawed out, and prepared for yet another long day of flying. If I am able to adjust back to Pacific time in relatively short order, it will be a Christmas miracle.

Back in Colombo

The drive didn't seem quite as long today. We passed the time by finishing off our survival snacks of granola bars and peanut butter crackers. When we got back on the highway between the airport and the city of Colombo, it was like entering a different country. For the first time in days, we saw a road with multiple lanes, though the traffic rules were still a bit shaky with some of the drivers. We checked back in to the Cinnamon Red Hotel, same as five days earlier, and decided to go for a walk around the neighborhood.

We discovered that the "world's largest christmas tree" was, as of yet, still incomplete. Also, its trunk to tree ratio was a bit skewed (in favor of the trunk if you were curious). Either way, my friends Isuru and fellow classmate Dinindu met up with us nearby at the Galle Face Hotel. They couldn't stay long since they are waist deep in study materials for their new airline jobs, but we were able to catch the sunset together over some drinks. It was a very calm and relaxing locale.

As they ran off, Nicole and I stayed to have some food. As this was a restaurant at a hotel that very clearly catered to foreigners, there was nothing remotely Sri Lankan on the menu. This meant no curry. Nicole had penne pasta. I went with the fish and chips. They had forgotten about my fish and chips, so they offered me a free drink to make up for it. Fiiiiiiine. If I must make these kinds of sacrifices, I shall. After dinner, we watched the waves crash against the beach .

We then made our way back to the hotel and took in a few glimpses of the extensive christmas lights throughout the city. We have an early day tomorrow. We get on a flight from Colombo to Vienna, Austria, where it is currently 27º. That is a 60 degree temperature differential. I don't think either of us are quite ready for that, but perhaps it will seem more like the holidays with that kind of weather.

The Elephant Show

We embarked on our safari early this morning, with our driver also tagging along. For whatever reason, the safari guys really seem to push the afternoon trips. We actually pulled over before entering the park where the guy asked if we really wanted to do it. Umm...yes? Our driver interpreted and said that yesterday afternoon/evening they saw 20-30 elephants. An hour later this number had jumped to around 50, then eventually became 300. As Nicole said, "It's as if our driver genuinely believes everything -- like he lives in a world where there are no lies."

Immediately after the statements about dozens hundreds of elephants, she and I were both skeptical. "He showed me pictures on his phone!," exclaimed our driver. Were they taken yesterday? Who knows. Were they taken from google image search? Maybe. Life needs a healthy dose of skepticism and Nicole and I live in a world where we are convinced everyone is trying to screw us. Despite the safari man's best efforts to convince us to not go in the morning, we saw 6-8 elephants immediately upon entering an open area in Kaudulla National Park.

 This is one of the cases where my videos are actually far better than my photos, which are not white-balanced correctly at all, but I post them here anyway so you can see the elephants until I have a chance to edit them. One positive about going in the morning? No other jeeps. The most we ever saw were two. And I had read in numerous reviews that if an elephant is spotted in the afternoon, there will be 30 jeeps parked in front of it. So even if there was a herd of elephants in the afternoon, there would also be a herd of jeeps.

I found the lack of other jeeps calming even if it meant seeing fewer elephants. As it was, we still got to see several up close including the male and female couple above. In addition to the elephants, we saw some monkeys, peacocks, buffalo, a fox, pelicans, and a monitor lizard. The first thing the safari guy pointed out was a chicken. Nicole and I looked at each other like, "Uh huh...it's going to be that kind of trip." But as you can see, it rapidly improved. As we reached the end of our safari, we were asked if we wanted to see the museum. We inquired what was in it.

"A 15 month old baby elephant and some snakes!," said our driver. Given that description, I was expecting to see a room with a live baby elephant where biologists were monitoring its health and making sure it was strong enough to be on its own. I did not picture this 19th century room of oddities with said 15 month old baby elephant in a vat of formaldehyde. There were a couple dead snakes in there as well as some deer skulls and a taxidermy rodent. As we were walking out, Nicole said, "Maybe they should have mentioned it was dead." I replied, "Maybe they shouldn't have said it was a museum." We have always been very snarky people. What can you do?

Now we have our last long drive ahead of us -- all the way back to Colombo. So for the next 4-5 hours, enjoy this video of two elephants trunking.

Swapping Elephants for Buddhas

We called the driver to see if we could switch our safari to the morning. He said he spoke to the safari people who claimed that they could guarantee that we would see elephants. At this moment, there was a very strong downpour and we noticed that the vehicles had the cheap plastic windows you would find on a Jeep Wrangler from the early 90s. In shorthand, this meant that our pictures would be absolute rubbish when taken through a piece of cheap foggy plastic. When we met up with the driver, we explained our concern, and we were able to switch it.

Since we were already in the car, I suggested we drive to Dambulla, 20km away to see a temple there, since I had initially planned to do it tomorrow morning. I think this was a wise decision. And unlike everything else we had experienced today, this site wasn't trying to take us for a ride. In fact, it was free. After walking beyond the big golden buddha at the entrance, we continued up a series of steps to another temple entrance, where there were caves . . . and a lot of monkeys -- toque macaques to be exact.

In order to access the caves, one had to take off their shoes. Nicole wasn't too keen on this idea, so I ventured off briefly on my own while she became busy taking pics of monkeys. Here you see one eyeing up a pair of Converse. They can't be trusted. Many people had flowers to lay down inside the cave temples, but the monkeys very much liked these flowers and would do anything to bite into them. Nicole reportedly saw a father holding his child on his back holding a flower and a monkey leapt into the air to snatch it.

While Nicole was valiantly defending the area from monkey attacks, I was checking out five of the cave temples. Each was a little bit different, but most had frescoes painted on the ceilings and walls. It was good to see these since we were unable to do Sigariya rock. The cave temples are believed to be about 2000 years old, so it was a very interesting experience. There were other large buddhas lying down in some of the other caves. Some were big and some were quite small. I found myself wedged between a wall and a french tour group in one of the smallest ones.

Fortunately, there weren't crowds in the others. In many cases, I had unobstructed views of the bodhisattvas and caves. As Nicole pointed out, she was far from the only one who decided not to go barefoot on the wet rock. There was a gathering of folks with haole feet or afraid of their shoes getting stolen by monkeys. Look I get it. Monkeys will tear your face off for sport. Monkeys are terrible people. After returning from the temples, I linked back up with Jane Goodall to check out the monkey situation.

They were photogenic when they weren't masturbating or stealing flowers. The rainfalls from the previous hour created an eery mist over the area that made the whole temple site appear very mysterious. We carefully walked down the wet steps and slopes until reaching the bottom again. After arriving back at the hotel, we walked to a small food store to get some items that could act as our breakfast for tomorrow. Nicole was craving chocolate. She also yelled out, "Barbecue Sauce!" like she was having a fit of tourette's.


I asked the driver today what he typically eats when we aren't around. The answer was rice and curry, which is literally what I've been eating for the last week. I thought he might offer up some other ideas for me to try, but nope. To be completely honest, I do like curry, but as Nicole pointed out...it's like going to Subway and ordering the Spicy Italian sandwich every day for two weeks. It becomes a bit taxing and sometimes you just want a burger. In spite of our massive intake of rice, Nicole and I have both lost seven pounds a piece on this trip. No good. Now we are concerned (ironically) that Austria could make us ill. We are going to go all in on meaty and fatty foods and possibly implode.

Tomorrow we have take two on the safari. Wish us luck towel elephant!

Highway Robbery, I Tell Ya

Our hotel has an overpriced breakfast buffet to the tune of $15 per person, and we didn't think it was worth it, so we tried to get by with whatever snacks we had packed. Here, Nicole spreads peanut butter and some jelly she took from our Delta flight on an old piece of bread. Our meals have reached an all-time low.

After our unfulfilling breakfast of floppy bread, nuts, and nutrigrain bars, we ventured off to Sigiriya Rock. It is a very famous site from an archaeological and historic standpoint, and the popular thing to do is to hike up to the top of the rock to see the ruins of an ancient settlement. It is, however, as we discovered really really expensive...and they didn't take credit card. It was the equivalent of $30 per person, which for perspective, is $20 more than entrance to the Louvre. I was in disbelief at the price, and to be honest kind of frustrated. Because part of the payment processing involved showing a passport.

You see, if you have a certain passport, maybe you can get a better deal if you catch my drift. The sky was very grey and looked like it could rain any minute, so the prospect of climbing up lots of stairs sandwiched between a rock face and a Chinese tour group wasn't hugely appealing. And in the end, it wasn't even an option because we literally could not afford it. We talked to the driver regarding our options, and he negotiated with a tuk tuk driver to take us to a neighboring rock called Pidurangala, roughly 2km away. This one was only $3, so that seemed more reasonable.

We set out for the top, traversing many narrow and uneven steps and we got a taste of what Sigiriya would have been like...minus the crowds of suckers foreign tourists. After climbing for just a few minutes, we reached one plateau where we could see a miniature buddha and also a glimpse of Sigiriya rock.



As we continued our climb, it began to rain. Lightly at first, then developed into a downpour that never really let up. While under the canopy of trees, we were mostly protected, but eventually the path opened up as we neared the top, and the it seemed that everyone who was on the path going up or down seemed to have taken shelter underneath a rock overhang next to a statue of Buddha lying down.

We waited there for perhaps twenty minutes waiting to see if conditions would improve. No one budged. We all stood there - bonded by our fear of slippery steps and getting wet. Eventually someone had to make a move, and it was me. I was hungry. I feared if we waited too long, I would end up missing lunch. But rather than continue to the summit (what was the point, visibility was less than 1/2 mile through fog), we reversed carefully down the path until reaching the safety of the trees and finally the bottom.

For the afternoon, we had scheduled a jeep safari trek through a nearby national park with the hope of seeing some elephants, but the rain was relentless. I checked the forecast and it said 100% chance of rain throughout the entire duration of the safari. Today has been one letdown after another. Now we face the chance of going on a safari and not seeing any animals, which kind of defeats the purpose. Sigh. When we got back to our hotel for a short break before the safari, room service had been in our room and created this display.

We're going to need it.

On the Road Again

We set off on another long road trip, making a brief pit stop at a place called Nine Arch Gap, where we watched the train cruise (slowly) across a bridge to the other side of the valley.

We settled in for the long journey ahead of us. This country has given me a great deal of perspective regarding time and distance. I really shouldn't complain about driving to Burbank from the Westside anymore . . . but I will. Places on a map look so close, yet take shockingly large amounts of time to connect. It is simply the reality in 2016. It would not surprise me if in the next decade there is an island-wide system of major highways connecting the main cities. It would certainly make things a lot easier...especially on folks like our driver, who was struggling to find a place off the road that had any rice left. On that note, Nicole is sick of rice. She is craving a burger and salad.




Meanwhile back in the car, our driver made a separate stop to a stand to buy coconuts. He quickly downed one on the side of the road and gave another one to me. Coconut water is nothing new to me. It is a dime a dozen in Los Angeles, and I was never terribly fond of it. However, it was handed to me, having already been purchased, so I felt obligated. I put on my best present face, "mmmMMm different than what I expected!" Thirty miles later, I was still nursing it when it sloshed over onto my pants. Within another ten miles, it found itself being tossed out the passenger side window.



We ultimately checked in to the Cinnamon Lodge hotel in Habarana. They really push buffets here, and they're a bit overpriced, so Nicole and I decided to walk around to see if there were any other options. We settled on the neighboring hotel, where to Nicole's misfortune, we had rice and curry . . . again. Poor Nicole. She just wants that burger. Overall, she's been a good sport. For someone who doesn't like spicy foods or things with lots of flavor, she made quite the transition from Honey Bunches of Oats to Dhal curry. Tomorrow will be a busy day around Sigiriya. We have been warned that it could be quite hot. Stay tuned.

98 Acres Is The Place To Be

We awoke this morning to the soft warm glow of the sun rising above the mountains. I stepped out onto our balcony to snap some pictures and do some video to capture the sounds of the very active wildlife. In spite of the many moths and other creatures buzzing about, we both slept very well throughout the night. The netting seems to have done its job. It was now about 7am, and we decided to go for a short hike to a place called Little Adam's Peak.

It was only about half a mile from our villa to the top of the peak, and it gave us good views looking back toward the 98 Acres Resort. It was nice and cool for our brief trek. There were many stray dogs along the path, and especially at the top. Nothing annoys me quicker than a pack of strays following me wherever I go. Poor lil' Cole and lil' Brian had to contend with lil' Mopsy atop lil' Adam's Peak. Eventually they discovered we weren't as interesting as some other tourists, and we seemed to give them the slip.

This was not before two of them ganged up on another and literally pushed it off the side of the mountain. It seemed like a survivable fall, but we never saw that dog again. Dogs are terrible people.

In any event, after taking our pictures, we made our way back down the hill and to the 98 acres resort. We had some breakfast with a 360º panorama of the surrounding area. Christmas music was playing in the background. I forgot where I was for a bit.

I was a bit surprised at the extent at which people celebrate Christmas. There are wreaths and trees everywhere with music playing at all hotel lobbies and restaurants. I have to keep reminding myself that I am in fact in the highlands in the middle of Sri Lanka. We are a long way from home.

Today we have a long drive in store for us again. We are trying to figure out a few stops to break it up, but there will still be at least a three hour stretch with nothing. Wish us luck.