Around the World in 14 Days

Yes, I had already fashioned a blog post to close out the end of my around the world trip, but since I have lots of time at hotels on my current work trip, I'd like to do another with a different tone. My previous one was a bit snarky, even for me. I will attempt to make this one more traditionally reflective on our actual trip.

It's almost hard to believe at this point, but our journey encountered its first stop in Tokyo. We kept commenting on how it felt like we were in familiar territory. Yes, familiar because we had been there before. We recognized streets, subway stops, knew where to find Starbucks and sandwich places when we got sick of ramen and miso. And this "familiarity" is somewhat shocking. We know virtually no Japanese. We cannot read any text. I had to use a google translate app to figure out how to do simple tasks like changing the settings on the washer/dryer in our hotel room. As I've probably said in the past, Japan is this crazy mix of western comforts combined with just absolute confusion. You cannot simulate this experience anywhere else. There is this simultaneous feeling of hopelessness and relaxation. Not being able to communicate effectively is a huge issue, but the Japanese people are some of the warmest, friendliest, and helpful people I have ever met in my life.


This is an important distinction because we were about to go to a country that would really not be any of these things. Ah, India. It has been described as a feast for all the senses. Lots of horns. Lots of interesting odors. Bright vibrant colors. Smartly dressed men and women walk in front of crumbling buildings. Our welcome was not especially warm. It seemed that everywhere we went, we were treated like morons. My parents had once told me that Indians were extremely friendly. I would be lying if I said I had the same experience.

It goes without saying that the cultural chasm between India and the United States is vast. This is why Nicole and Uma's movie proposal is such an intriguing idea. The separation of men and women in security lines, movie theaters, mall entrances, or in other aspects of life was a bit jarring to us. But that's the way it is. Maybe you have to look at India the way you look at the operations at Newark Airport. People are yelling at you and telling you conflicting instructions that make no sense. "Why?," you protest. That's just the way it is. Did you know the U.S. is one of the only countries in the world to still require the removal of shoes?  I could see visitors or non flyers getting into a line and wondering, "Why the hell am I doing this? This makes no sense." Yep. That's the feeling you get in India. When visiting our friend, Uma, her mom graciously prepared us a hearty meal of rice and curry with beets. We ate entirely with our right hand. They were aware that this is not our normal procedure and offered us spoons, but we declined. We were here to experience India, not Epcot.

Yet despite Uma's awareness of our cultural differences, we quickly became aware that there were many things that separated our cultures. On at least three different occasions (that we're aware of), people asked Uma if Nicole and I were a proper couple...as in married. The driver, people on the street, men in shops, it didn't matter. It is evidently frowned upon to be dating, much less galavanting around the world with some floozy. No wonder the hotel staff were so rude when discovering not only did we have different last names, but in some cases Nicole, a woman, had actually booked and paid for the hotel. Scandalous. That's just the way it is. Walking around Uma's neighborhood, a lady stopped to ask Uma some questions. It wasn't, "Who are your friends?, How's your movie?, What have you been up to lately?" It was immediately about my marriage status with Nicole. Uma said we were engaged (a lie, so don't get excited Mom and Dad). Then they asked when the marriage is. Soon? People in the south were more friendly, but within the confines of what they thought was appropriate. Americans might find it all a bit . . . intrusive.

Nicole and I being a bit more progressive-minded found this all a bit jarring. What does it matter if we're married or not? Why doesn't anyone date? What's the point in getting married if you barely know someone? We had lots of questions, but we were the radicals in this country. The newspapers we read were saturated with stories of rape and victim shaming. While not immune to this in the United States, it seems to be an epidemic in India. It makes me wonder if this culture of getting married quick has indirectly led to some of these problems. If it opened up a bit to encourage dating, might we see fewer sexual assaults? I would compare it to Catholic priests in the U.S. They are embroiled in decades-long sex scandals. Perhaps we should have let them date as well? More mixers with the nuns? Maybe they would have those most basic of human needs met. Who knows. Our time in India was brief, but we learned a lot in just a few short days. I think it would take a lifetime to try and make sense of it all. And that goes the other way too. Ask the man who ran up to Nicole just to stare at her.

But now we were off to nearby Sri Lanka. It was less than an hour flight from Cochin Airport; and perhaps in my mind I was expecting to find a landscape similar to the one I had just left. It was not. Cranes and skyscrapers towered over Colombo's skyline. Cars were staying in their lanes on the new highway that connects the airport with downtown Colombo. The hotel staff treated us with respect and did not act surprised when they realized Nicole had made the booking. Nobody ever really talks about going on vacation to Sri Lanka, but they certainly seemed a lot better prepared in the tourism and hospitality industry. As far as tourism goes, Nicole and I were part of the tip of the spear as far as American tourists go. British and French tourists have been coming for some time, and the industry is expected to take off judging by all the development in and around Colombo. The next day we set off for Galle, a beach area to the south of Colombo by using the second of two highways that exist in Sri Lanka. It too had all the trappings of a modern resort area.

But as we worked our way away from the coast, the landscape began to change. No more highways. Journeys that would take less than an hour and a half in the U.S. took almost five. Traffic rules became vague. Tourists became fewer. The terrain transformed into cinematic landscapes of mist-draped green mountains and high plateaus. Due to time constraints, we couldn't stay anywhere for long, so it seemed we spent most of our time eating peanut butter crackers and fruit snacks in the backseat of a small Suzuki hatchback.

It was not the most ideal way to experience a country, but luckily we were rewarded at each stop with a very memorable and unique experience, even if getting there was a bit stressful. It certainly gave us perspective on patience and what constitutes a long drive. Back in April I drove 350 miles from New Orleans to Houston without stopping and it took the same amount of time as it did to drive the 100 miles from Galle to Ella. The whole country is only about the size of South Carolina, so the prospect of an infrastructure overhaul is not unrealistic.

These changes are already taking place at a fast rate and I wonder what effects the development will have upon the culture, especially in the smaller towns. This could result in easier connections to goods and services, but perhaps not everyone is ready for that. As we've seen with the Brexit vote and the election of Trump, many people would prefer to disengage from the outside world.  I'd be curious to know what people think of the rise in tourism. It's certainly a moneymaker, but it could also lead to overdevelopment.

Sri Lanka's civil war is still fresh, having ended less than a decade ago. Even Isuru said it was unrecognizable when he returned from flight training. It's the same reaction that journalists I interviewed had when they returned to Vietnam after just a few years. And just as I observed there, Sri Lanka is quickly becoming a land of contradictions, old and new. Isuru was kind enough to pick us up from the airport in a nice Audi and deposited us at a fancy hotel with an infinity pool, but the following day we had to give way to a cow crossing the road. The country is growing very fast, but it will have some growing pains.

Enrique Iglesias performed there recently and it caused quite a stir with the president himself voicing his opinion on the "uncivilized women" who threw their bras at the stage. He further suggested the promoters should be beaten with poisonous stingray tails. It's a bit of predicament when you have a modern pop singer performing club songs in a country where people still catch fish from stilts. There are certainly two very different Sri Lankas, and it will be interesting to see how they interact over the coming decade.

When we finally arrived in Vienna, it became surreal. Where we had been enjoying a beer outside by the beach the day before, we were now huddling inside a tavern drinking dunkel and trying to stay warm. We observed efficiency we had not been used to for some time. An express train took us from the airport to the heart of the city in less than 15 minutes. We had returned to our "comfort zone" and quickly ordered meat. The bookends of our trip, one east, one west, were like our safety zones. Everything in between was very . . . well, foreign.

But as I mentioned in my previous blog post, you have to get out of your comfort zone to gain perspective. You don't reap any of the rewards of new and exciting places if you never go. Sure, there are some challenges. Can I eat this? Do you think there's tap water in that juice? Why is it green? Why does the city smell like it's on fire? But you also have the unique opportunity to be part of something that few others have enjoyed. We saw elephants in the wild, ate with our hands, slept under mosquito netting, gazed at one of the wonders of the world, and huddled next to a thousand year old buddha while it rained. It was all pretty incredible and an experience that neither of us could replicate any time soon. We may have flown around the world, but we have only just scratched its surface.

Two friends, two countries, one day.

Today was fairly low key. We met up with Uma later in the morning to go to the nearby Sobha City Mall. It is a very modern complex with many upscale shops. We were basically just mall walkers, chatting as we slowly walked around. Eventually we went outside the mall to sit overlooking a manmade lake with many high-rise apartment buildings towering above it. It was very interesting learning about each other's culture. It was fascinating to hear about the dating culture (or lack thereof) in India. It is like a twilight zone where people use Tinder to find someone to marry.

Eventually we had to leave, however because we had an afternoon flight and the airport was about an hour and a half drive. We said our goodbyes and had our final experience with Indian traffic. The Cochin Airport is only slightly more efficient than Delhi. A man with a cart full of luggage tried to cut us off in line, but the guard stopped the man and allowed us to maintain our place. There was still excessive redundancy, though. After the guard at the entrance, I had my boarding pass looked at five different times, and stamped three times by three different people with the same stamp. Passing through customs was very similar to waiting at the check-in counter for American Airlines. There's a lot of activity behind the desk and a lot of typing, but what actually occurs is a mystery. The level of security is probably more heightened than in America because everyone gets patted down and wanded after passing through the metal detector, so all these steps may be arguably better, but it just seems there are an unnecessary number of hoops to jump through.

It was a short flight from Cochin to Colombo in Sri Lanka. Going through customs and immigration here was significantly easier and streamlined. It was a welcome change. Just outside the baggage claim, my friend Isuru, a former student from my flight instructing days was waiting along with another flying club student, Dinindu. They were kind enough to come pick us up and take us from the airport into town. We drove down the new highway, so it was a relatively short trip until we hit the traffic of the city. It's interesting to be in yet another country. While tuk tuks are still zipping around on the roads, there are not very many other similarities between the two countries that are separated by just a short flight.

Colombo is a city undergoing transformation. There is a lot of development going on with new luxury hotels popping up everywhere. We checked in to the Cinnamon Red Hotel and then met up to do dinner at a place called the Cricket Club. It had a menu that covered all the bases from fish to pasta to chicken sandwiches to mexican wraps. I went with fish & chips. Nicole, being the Italian that she is, went for the pasta. Needless to say, it was a very different meal from yesterday. We made it an early night in an attempt to catch up on much needed sleep. We're on the move again tomorrow.

Immersion

We met up with Uma for lunch at her house. Her mom had prepared some traditional Kerala cuisine that consisted of rice, vegetable curry, and beet root, and poppadoms. All of this went on our plates and we mashed it together with our hands before balling it up and eating it.
*Dear mom, we all washed our hands first. All of the ingredients were either fried, baked, or cooked. I took pepto.
There was also some curd (yogurt-like dip) to add to the mix as well. After a few servings, we all had rice pudding.

Afterward, we walked around Uma's neighborhood as she pointed out the different buildings and shared a little bit of the history of the area. We walked inside the house behind Nicole in this picture, which is like 800 years old or something crazy like that. The building was in a state of disrepair, but interesting to see nonetheless. We continued walking around the neighborhood. It was all very relaxing and surreal.

When I think of cultures and places that are a complete 180 from my own, I think this is it. And yet here we were, thousands of miles from home, casually walking through a neighborhood of a small town in southern India. While it was of course amazing to see a famous site like the Taj Mahal yesterday. Today, I feel like I really saw India -- which was a much more interesting experience that was (quite literally) hands-on. Nicole was on her best behavior as well and was willing to try new things. You should all be very proud of her.


We had an afternoon snack of tea and bananas, that were picked from across the street. We talked about filmmaking, the differences between the American and Indian film industries, and how women are perceived in each one, which surprisingly or not is probably not all that different. Then as chance would have it, a photographer for The Hindu, an Indian newspaper wanted to do a photograph for an article regarding Nicole's and Uma's film, so we got in the car and went to the town center near a Hindu temple to do the pictures.

For whatever reason, I somehow ended up being in some of the photos. It was not clear why, but I was instructed to do so. I thought it was because of confusion. Perhaps I was perceived as being the producer or something because I am a man. That is where my mind went anyway. It could be completely false, but I couldn't really disprove the theory because there was a language barrier. I could end up in a photograph in an Indian newspaper without knowing why, but after all I am one half of Bricole (everyone's favorite celebrity couple). This brings me to a small anecdote from our walk earlier.

Two women who knew Uma stopped her in the street to ask about Nicole and I. The exchange took place in malayalam so we didn't really know what was being said. We just smiled and waved. Apparently they were asking what our story was. Were we brother and sister? Were we to be wed? When is the wedding date? When Uma translated it for us, we were somewhat surprised that a conversation that went on for little more than 10 seconds had somehow already discussed marriage. Even my most pushy relatives wait at least an hour or two. It's a fascinating cultural difference that puts so much emphasis on the need to marry, but not dating. To be fair, most Americans probably find Nicole's and my situation unusual. And I think things like that expose a lot of cultural bias within our own society and without. Thrissur, India is certainly very different from the westside of Los Angeles, and I'm sure people in America would be quick to judge the practice of arranged marriages in India, but folks in the U.S. are just as quick to scoff at the idea that Nicole and I have been together for more than seven years and are not engaged. So there you have it -- everyone thinks we're ridiculous, despite being everyone's favorite celebrity couple.

Going Down South

After our brief stint in Delhi, we went back to the airport at a very early hour to catch a flight down to Kochi/Cochin, India. How early was it? Well, this picture was taken about an hour into the flight at cruising altitude, so there you go. Our experience at Indira Gandhi International was not much better the second time around, either. Just physically getting into the airport was met with a lot of attitude. A guard at the door looked at our tickets with the most annoying look on his face. There was actually a literal eye roll like how dare we try and enter the airport to try and catch our flight. I simply do not understand it. People at this airport treat us like we are idiots even though we are doing everything they ask of us. When in the security line, Nicole was told she was in the wrong line, (but I wasn't). Apparently there is a separate line for women than men. Why? I haven't the foggiest. At this point, I had attitude. Half of Nicole's bags were already through the x-ray machine, and I said, "Well aren't we all going to the same place?" I ask too many questions.

Then we had to put special tags on all of our carryons that were scanned. And the man looked at me like I was an idiot because I didn't know this was common practice. The purpose of these tags is not clear. Like I know it's to mark each bag as being scanned by the machine, but if you're through security, it's very clearly implied that it has been scanned. It seems very redundant. I am not sure what it is, but there is certainly a lot of attitude at the airport -- especially directed toward us, presumably due to the way we look. Perhaps this is how middle eastern people feel when dealing with TSA.

Once actually on the plane, things were fine. We flew Air India, which Nicole was a little concerned about, but we even got served breakfast during our three hour flight. A breakfast of paneer and chickpeas, but a breakfast nonetheless. We touched down around 815am and jockeyed for position to exit the plane (again, lines are a silly notion here).

It was a small airport, and since we just had carryons (all tagged naturally), we breezed through the terminal and met with Nicole's filmmaker partner in India, Uma. I awkwardly captured the moment in this bad picture. I wasn't ready and hastily fired off a shot. I will make up for it later. She had arranged a driver for us and we all went to our hotel in Thrissur, which took over an hour. The weather down here is much more humid and tropical. It also has more of a small town feel, albeit just as chaotic. There are still a lot of horns. Soon we will meet back up with Uma for lunch at her house. I'm excited. Nicole is scared. In any event, both of us are now taking Pepto Bismol on a regular basis.

Visiting India's Most Famous Building

After a night of limited sleep, we groggily got into our car that drove us 3 1/2 hours from Delhi to Agra. There was a lot of honking and traffic rules are not necessarily existent. Our driver was very skilled, however. He maneuvered around buses, trucks, tuk tuks, and even a cow or two. I read an Indian newspaper enroute. Given our issues yesterday, it was interesting to read numerous articles on India's issues with respecting women. Upon arrival in Agra, a guide met us and helped us take care of the tickets and everything before entering the grounds of the famous Taj Mahal.

Perhaps it was our tiredness or the long drive, but it was all very surreal. This was such a famous site in front of us, that we almost couldn't believe we were there. This time of year is notorious for fog, so we were fortunate to be able to see it clearly. I could have done without the crowds, but since we are not British royalty or the president of Israel, it didn't seem likely that they would close the place down for us, even though we are Bricole, everyone's favorite celebrity couple.

The guide was very informative about the building, art, and architecture of the temple. At one point, we also walked inside the mausoleum where Shah Jahan and his wife (the reason the Taj Mahal was built to begin with) were laid to rest. Inside, workers would yell at people taking pictures because, as signs put it, "No photography allowed out of respect for the site". But apparently blowing whistles really loud to get people to keep moving is fair game.

In any event, we finished up by walking around and taking a few more pictures, including this one, which might be my favorite. I liked the colors of the women walking toward the monument. With thousands of people at the site, taking the exact same pictures, it was hard to get a photograph that stood out.

We could have visited other sites in Agra, but we both decided to hop in the car and head back to Delhi. Every bank or ATM we drove past had a line at least 20 people deep. This whole demonetization thing is making things complicated. A month or so ago, some of the most commonly used currency denominations were removed from circulation under the pretense that it would combat so called "black money," but it seems to be creating a lot of new problems.

Luckily they took credit card because currency is hard to come by. We literally pulled over in the middle of a back street where a man walked up with a card machine. I was reminded of a scene in Million Dollar Arm where they do a major business transaction in the middle of the street. It is called bypassing the system in the movie. "Indians love to honk and bypass the system" according to the film. Eventually we found ourselves back in smoggy Delhi. And to address some of my concerns in the previous post, Nicole was treated much better today.

Maybe everyone is just grouchier at 2am. Hopefully our airport experience tomorrow goes a bit smoother. We have a 5am flight down to Kochi/Cochin in southern India.

So until then, we will try and get a decent night's rest. The bed is very comfortable and our room probably three times the size as our Tokyo hotel. You will, however, note that the walls of our bathroom are transparent. There is evidently a shade to rectify this issue, but it doesn't work, so now it's just rectums.

Judgements Made

Should I judge an entire country by our experience upon landing at New Delhi's airport? No. Am I going to anyway? Yes. You see, it all started with customs. We were in line for a while only to be told we were in the wrong line because we had e-visas. We were given attitude like this was an obvious mistake on our part, but the line for the e-visa was at the far end of the customs hall out of view from every passenger entering. But that was strike one. Then we continually kept getting cut off by people who don't believe in waiting in line. Strike two.



Then when our driver finally showed up to take us to our hotel, he was eager to wrench my backpack out of my hands even though I said no, but did not seem too concerned about the 30 lbs that Nicole was still carrying on her back. The trunk was almost shut with Nicole's bag still on her back. In the car, all questions were referred to me, even though Nicole had technically paid for the hotel and the driver. "How are you, sir?" Nobody cares how Nicole is. I knew there was certainly some sexism inherit in Indian society, but even I hadn't expected it to be so blatant. It took almost three hours from our plane landing to arriving at our hotel (which is only a mile or so from the airport). So far, I'm not particularly impressed with the efficiency, lack of respect for lines, and misogyny. But I guess that all comes with the territory. I hope our opinions can be shifted tomorrow, but I'm keeping my expectations low.